Eulogy

The Christian Life

Buon giorno.

I thank everyone here for celebrating the life of my grandmother. I am honored to speak about the life of this woman on All Souls Day. Her name was "Agnese," which translates “pure, chaste,” “Lamb of God,” very much like the Saint Agnes of Rome, who was murdered for vowing a life of chastity in the name of Jesus. In comparison, this is the life my grandmother, Agnese, led. She is an example of the Christian life, and the Christian life is complete with sacrifices.

I knew the word, “Nonna,” before “grandma,” and I was blessed to have been invited to the parts of her life, such as her birthplace in Prata di Principate, a site of Christian martyrdom. Nonna taught me about Mary and Jesus, and I would play “Mother Nina” her nativity statues, but it was in this place where I could understand the Christian life.

Agnese at seventeen years-old.

As I have learned these last few days, her life was steeped in hardship, bone crippling poverty, sadness. While she would sew dresses for my doll in gingham plaid fabric, she would tell me how her doll was a corn cob. The hair on the corn was the hair on the doll. She bought both me and my sister’s wedding dresses, because, as we learned recently, she was never able to afford her own. She would visit the flea market in Avellino and bring back pairs of shoes for me, my sister, and my mom. As we learned, when she was a child, she could not afford shoes. But she never complained. She always brought us love. Her cooking was an example of this endless love. She surrounded herself with many children, and inspired me to do the same, always giving life, as the Bible says, “Be fruitful and multiply” Gen. 1:28.

Before she passed, I had a dream of my grandmother, and I was in the preschool here with the babies. One baby would not stop crying, but with me, it stopped crying. I brought the baby to my grandmother and said, “Nonna, aren’t you so happy to see me caring for the babies of others?” And she said, “I knew you would always be a teacher.” I walk into my classroom and love all my babies, because this is what my grandmother taught me. To surrender to the life God paved for you and live like Jesus lives.

My grandmother did not have a college degree, a career, a big house with fancy things, or lots of travel experiences. She did not live in our culture of waste. She immigrated to this country on a boat, with a few dollars, a fifth grade education, a husband and son.

Three grandchildren who are living her legacy.

She emulated a life of purity, charity, and humility. Humility was her strength. She had nothing, yet she gave everything. She protected us from evil or any kind of sadness, never raising her voice.

She loved Christ, even her enemies, and God is love incarnate. Hell is afraid of a woman like Agnese Petrillo.

God does not ask us to have an easy life of fun and pleasure, but no matter how painful, to take up our crosses with love. I’m sure in those last moments, she said the words of Jesus, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” But we all know why. And it is because she is with Him.

This is the Christian life.

Saint Agnese, pray for us.

Agnese (Vitale) Petrillo, 77, of West Orange, passed away peacefully on October 27, 2022.

Agnese was born on April 27, 1945 in Prata, a principality and medieval village of Naples, Italy. Beginning from her childhood, she lived a humble life, sewing clothes for her handmade doll (later bringing that joy to her two granddaughters) and running the family deli business under the discretion of her mother. She married at seventeen years-old and in one year gave birth to her only child. In 1966, she immigrated with her son and husband to America where they settled in Orange, NJ. She surrounded herself with family and friends, caring for children in the neighborhood and serving homemade cuisine with an abundance of love. In her later years, she dedicated her life to educating young children as an assistant at Aquinas Academy Preschool, where she was frequently visited by her granddaughter who was studying to become a teacher. Agnese organized the celebration of Annunziata, a commemoration from her hometown, and had a lifelong devotion to God.

Devoted wife of sixty years to Mario Petrillo. Devoted mother of Amato Petrillo and his wife Josephine (Marino). Cherished grandmother of three: Gabriella (with her fiancé James Melnick), Alessandra (with her husband Kristopher Bianconi), and Mario. Also survived by many loving nieces, nephews, cousins and friends.

Agnese was predeceased by her parents Luigi and Antonietta (Berardino) Vitale and her brother Antonio Vitale.